10.24.08
Posted in Jokes at 10:39 am by Becki
Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson, Brian Williams and a tough old U.S. Marine Sergeant were captured by terrorists in Iraq. The leader of the terrorists told them he’d grant each of them one last request before they were beheaded and dragged naked through the streets.
Katie Couric said, “Well, I’m a Southerner, so I’d like one last plate of fried chicken.” The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chicken. Couric ate it all and said, “Now I can die content.”
Charlie Gibson said, “I live in New York, so I’d like to hear the song ‘The Moon and Me’ one last time.” The terrorist’s leader nodded to another terrorist who had studied the Western world and knew the music. He returned with some rag-tag musicians and played the song. Gibson was satisfied.
Brian Williams said, “I’m a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what’s about to happen. Maybe, someday, someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end.” The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Williams dictated his comments. He then said, “Now I can die happy.”
The leader turned and said, “And now, Mr. US Marine, what is your final wish?”
“Kick me in the ass,” said the Marine.
“What?” asked the leader, “Will you mock us in your last hour?”
“No, I’m NOT kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass,” insisted the Marine.
So the leader shoved him into the yard and kicked him in the ass. The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from inside his cammies and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he emptied his sidearm on six terrorists, took out 20 with his knife, he slashed the throat of one with an AK-47, which he took, and sprayed the rest of the terrorists killing another 11!
In a flash, all of them were either dead or fleeing for their lives.
As the Marine was untying Couric, Gibson and Williams, they asked him, “Why didn’t you just shoot them all in the first place? Why did you ask him to kick you in the ass?”
“What!?!” replied the Marine, “and have you three assholes report that I was the aggressor?”
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09.24.08
Posted in Jokes at 1:37 pm by Becki
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the
Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asked, ‘What are all those clocks?’
St. Peter answered, ‘Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a
Lie-Clock.
Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.’
‘Oh,’ said the man, ‘whose clock is that?’
‘That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved, indicating
that she never told a lie.’
‘Incredible,’ said the man. ‘And whose clock is that one?’
St. Peter responded, ‘That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands
have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire
life.’
‘Where’s Senator Obama’s clock?’ asked the man.
‘Obama’s clock is in Jesus’ office.
He’s using it as a ceiling fan.
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08.29.08
Posted in News at 12:42 pm by Becki
Little Miss Cierra has been on a little killing spree. She pounced on a bird gently flying through the backyard. She then proceeded to run around with it with me and Enzo chasing her as the bird cried and screamed in terror. She put it down and as soon as it moved again, she picked it up and shook it to snap it’s neck. I got her in the house so I could clean up the bird and a little lizard scampered into the family room. Cierra saw it and stomped it with her paw. I had a second little creature to dispose of. She sat in her cage awaiting sentence until Enzo decided he wanted the cage to himself. Does anybody need any help guarding their junkyard?
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07.30.08
Posted in News at 3:08 pm by Becki
Isabella, a golden retriever at the Safari Zoological Park, east of Caney, Kan. nurses Wednesday, July 30, 2008, three white tiger cubs she adopted after they were abandoned by their mother at the park. The cubs were born on Sunday.
(AP Photo/The Daily Reporter, Rob Morgan)
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Posted in Recipes at 1:24 pm by Becki
2 tablespoons butter or margarine
4 teaspoons flour
1/8 teaspoon garlic powder
3/4 cup milk
1 1/2 cups sharp American cheese, shredded
1 (3 ounce) package cream cheese, cut up
3 (10 ounce) packages frozen whole kernel corn, thawed
3 ounces diced ham
Melt butter; stir in flour and garlic powder.
Add milk; cook & stir over medium heat.
Heat until thick and bubbly; stir in cheeses. Cook/stir over low heat until cheeses melt; stir in corn & ham.
Bake in 2 qt casserole for 45 minutes at 350.
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Posted in Recipes at 1:18 pm by Becki
Jack Stack Barbecue Beans Recipe courtesy Fiorella’s Jack Stack Barbecue of Kansas City
1 (32-ounce) can pork and beans
1 cup chopped brisket
1 cup BBQ sauce (recommended: Jack Stack Original)
4 heaping tablespoons brown sugar
1 tablespoon chili powder
1 teaspoon liquid smoke
1/2 cup ketchup
1/2 cup water
Combine all ingredients in a 4-quart saucepan. Over medium heat, bring beans to a boil, and then reduce to a simmer. Cook beans for 20 minutes or until a thick, soupy consistency is reached. Serve.
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07.16.08
Posted in News at 11:31 am by Becki
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07.09.08
Posted in News at 8:41 am by Becki
Have any of you checked this out? I searched “Rizzo” in “Kansas” and found cash for both Richard and Valerie Rizzo. You’d better claim your gas money.
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